Life at the Kame House
by Love-of-all-Things
Summary: Have you ever wondered how ChiChi felt during the short yet long period of time when Goku was ill and when he trained and she had to actually LIVE at the Kame House? Well think no more, for I have answered your thoughts with my fanfic! Um...okay...RR
1. Default Chapter

Life at the Kame House

Life at the Kame House

Author: PrincessChiChi

Disclaimer: Everything in this section that I say is a LIE, *ahem* I do own dragonball, dragonball z, dragonball gt and its characters. Wow, that felt great! Sadly though, *pouts* its not true.

Note: This story is about ChiChi and how life was for her while she lived at the Kame House for that very short amount of time that felt like centuries.By the way this is a fanfic that I finally combined Yamacha/ChiChi fans and of course my favorite Goku/ChiChi fans oh and what do you know, Trunks may have a little crush on our ChiChi too (better watch it Trunks or Goten will pound you). Anyway its dedicated to my best friend Princess Mimi Peacecraft, my fellow royal companion. 

Rating: PG

Genre: Humor/General

It all started when the boy from the future, oddly named Trunks, had warned me about my husband, he had told me that Goku would get a severe heart disease and that he had given Goku the medications. Of course that wasn't exactly a smart thing to do considering Goku probably would've lost it, but sure enough they were in his clothes. 'Make sure you give him half of a spoon everyday while his disease continues, although this is a cure it takes time, if you see he's in pain give him a spoonful,' he had explained. I nodded memorizing it all in my head. Then the strong super sayian boy starred at me for some time and blushed, his head dawned over the floor and a grin sparked in my face.

'I'll go put this away,' I smiled as I went into the kitchen. 

Before I left I saw Krillin elbow Trunks and I heard Trunks say, 'Goku has a good taste in women.' I wanted to laugh but I didn't feel like making a fool out of myself at that exact moment. _Mind you, Trunks is pretty cute himself_, I quickly slapped myself upside the head. I would have no thoughts like that, Goku was my husband and I love him. I came back inside when I heard Trunks mutter, 'Goten would KILL me if he heard me say that.' _Who the heck is Goten? _I thought. 

So anyway, Yamacha, Tien and everyone else shortly came over to see Goku and they all agreed that Goku had to get better soon or the world was going to die. I just love the fact that Goku's friends are so positive! Trunks grinned and told everyone its okay because I was going to nurse him back to health, I nodded my head shyly as he said that. Yamacha winced and exclaimed, 'Goku's my friend I think I'll stay around and help you ChiChi.' _Of course_, I thought within my head, _I could never nurse my dying husband back to health now could I? I'm just the crying, complaining wife, right? _I forced a smile and nodded my head, _It won't be for long because my Goku's going to get better very shortly, I know_, I thought painfully, I had so much faith in my husband, and I tried to stay away from thoughts that would cloud that faith, but I just couldn't imagine another lifetime with him dead, yet once again! 

But soon everyone left, except for Yamacha who I let sleep in Gohan's room, Gohan was going to crash in the master bedroom. Gohan asked me where I was going to sleep, wearily I said, 'I'm going to be staying up much longer to look after your father.' He gave me a worried look but I shooed him off to bed. 'Goodness Goku, you look so weak, it questions my faith in you, but I know you'll get better, I'm making a bet with myself that you will.' As time passed I eventually fell asleep my head resting on top of him. I woke up early EARLY next morning and I spazzed that I had fallen asleep, 'Oh my gosh, how could I just let myself just doze off!' But there was just something about Goku that made me relaxed, I noticed that his hand warmed mine and I just shut-up.

Time eventually passed and Yamacha and I did the best we could, but Goku seemed to be in more pain, I knew I did everything Trunks said I have to, but why was Goku in so much pain? I silently wept every time I saw Goku flinch. Soon Trunks came back to warn me about some androids were on the way to our house to destroy Goku, my eyes went wide as I heard this. It was a little funny though, Trunks' teen hormones kept insisting that he blushed when he was near me. Shaking my head I got the thought out of my mind and concentrated on my husband. 'Where can we go?' I wondered my eyes over filling with tears while I held tight my husband's hand.

'I know!' Yamacha exclaims, 'let's go to the Kame House! Its on a deserted island, no one could find us there!' I agreed and soon we all start packing up, Yamacha, Tien and Trunks keep pestering me about helping me pack up MY clothes! I bring forth the idea to help Goku into the spacecraft, Gohan can help me pack. 

Finally we were all ready and heading towards the Kame House on the air craft when Gohan cries out, 'Is there a bathroom in here?' 

Everyone looks at him and I say, 'Couldn't you use the bathroom in our house before the androids' explode it?'

He shakes his head and exclaims 'I couldn't then!' I sigh, I glance up at Yamacha, driving the mechanism to answer Gohan's question for me.

'Sorry Gohan, there's no bathroom in my baby!' Yamacha answers. Gohan pouts. 

Well hours past and it was really boring, Gohan studied but his mind was concentrated on his full bladder. Yamacha and Trunks had a very _quiet _conversation, Tien and Krillin (oops, I forgot to mention him)…uh they did nothing and I just sat by Goku, impatiently waiting to reach the Kame House and Goku, he well, he's still unconscious. In minutes though, the Kame House came into view.

'Well howdy!' Master Roshi greeted. Everyone said hi and hurriedly we brought Goku into a spacey looking room. 'You can set him right there!' Master Roshi pointed to a spot in the middle of the room. He turned to me while I was standing against the wall hoping the guys wouldn't drop Goku, 'I hadn't a women here in ages, literally, so don't mind me if I start-' I slapped him before he could finish. I know I should respect my elders but Master Roshi, he's definitely out of the question! _Kami, help! _Was all I could think. 

'Hey all this work is making me hungry!' Yamacha exclaimed, 'ChiChi can you cook us something?' Brought back by the question I stare at him unbelieving, I look at everyone else who have the same questioning looks on their faces. 

'How could you guys think of food now?!' I cried out. 

'Well I didn't just think of it now, it kind of floated through my mind the whole time,' Yamacha admitted, everyone nodded in response. 

__

I'm doing this for your friends, Goku, I say to myself starring down at the poor thing. 'Fine,' I say, 'But look after Goku while I cook.' Everyone nods, except Master Roshi who giggles as he follows me downstairs. A slap is heard and Master Roshi flies back up the stairs. 'Jerk,' I mutter. 

While everyone eats downstairs I remain upstairs, leaning against the window, observing the stars, making a wish on all the shooting stars and alien space pods that are flying through space, when suddenly a poem is reciting within my sorrowful brain-

__

When you have left me-

With no one to talk to-

I worry about the truth of what my eyes see-

Do you ignore my love for you?

Oh I so wish I could tell thee-

To-

'Stop touching my butt!' I exclaim as I look down to see Yamacha on the ground. 

'Um I lost my quarter!' He cowers, 'I'll go now!' He hurries out the door. I continue my poem.

__

Oh I wish I could tell thee-

To look at my heart-

And that the only person that holds the key-

Is-

'Piccolo, ah!' Gohan yells, 'Mom, does Piccolo know where we are, because I miss him?!' (AN: okay so I know Gohan is a little OOC but hey it makes the story more interesting). I shake my head, this is never going to work! Forget the poem! 

'I don't know Gohan I hadn't enough time to tell him!' I yell back, 'I'm sure he'll sense you ki!' Ouch, that hurt my voice. 

'Okay,' I hear Gohan say. I sigh, _Goku I beg you please beat the crap out of your friends when you get better! _Silently I pray and dose off, tomorrow is a new day! 

Okay that's the end of my story for now, you've just read Day 1 of living at the Kame House, please R/R, I enjoyed making this fanfiction, it was quite, interesting…Anyway, did you like it, if you didn't I'll cry my heart out, never eat, and never come out of my room! NOT! Please R/R that's the point.

Signora,

PrincessChiChi


	2. 2nd Day; Conversations

Life at the Kame House Pt ****

Life at the Kame House Pt. 2

Author: PrincessChiChi

Disclaimer: I do not own dragonball, dragonball z or gt in any way nor it's characters. But this is my fanfic, so don't be cheap and steal it! 

Summary: My second part of Life at the Kame House, not the best, but I'd say pretty fair/good. Anyway it's the second day and ChiChi has been caught up in a pretty surprising conversation involving her family! Hmm…

Note: Thanks for all the awesome reviews guys! I'm so happy you guys like it, I sure hope you continue to read it as I update more chapters, sorry it took so long! Please give me suggestions and hopefully more good reviews! I enjoy writing this fic. Still dedicated to Princess Mimi Peacecraft, and I can't wait to see you tommorrow!!

Genre: Humor/General

Rating: PG

Ah! I woke up early next morning with a smile on my face with my eyes closed, I heard the birds chirp and I drenched the sound of the trees in the forest blow. I remembered the oddest dream I had the following night, Goku had gotten extremely ill and there were these androids coming to get him and we quickly had to rush him to the Kame House so that he could get well and I had to spend one horrible day with an old flirt and some ill-mannered men (a.k.a. Goku's friends) who kept hitting on me beyond belief! I laughed to myself, my eyes still closed, the way I punched them felt so real! 

Anyway as I said I was in an excellent mood, I felt so good that I sat up and stretched and my eyes flew wide open. My heart stopped, I looked around for a while, rubbed my eyes at least ten times but whatever I did couldn't escape me from the horrid reality in which I hoped was only a dream. "Ah!" I screamed with all my soul. It was about for ten minutes straight when everyone rushed in.

"Mom what's wrong!" Gohan asked wiping sleep away from his eyes.

"…." I said, er, didn't say.

"ChiChi do you need some comforting, you know, like an arm around your pale, thin, soft, scenting, beautiful, angelic sh…shoulder," Yamacha offered slipping his arm around my shoulder. My stimulus responded in less then point five of a second. Gripping on to Yamacha's arm I flipped him over on his back onto the hard wood floor. 

I felt my eyes full of fire, I warned the heap, "Don't touch me, or next time you won't even get the chance to fight Cell!" 

"Wow," he gasped like an old man, "She looks so pretty with that hair curving around her shoulders and the way that loose night shirt dangles, it doesn't look like the normal ChiChi at all!" 

I gasped and hopped back into the bed being reminded of my…um 'dress code.' "Don't make me-" I began to say but stopped realizing Gohan was in the room. I wouldn't want to give MY son a bad example like these half-the-brain-of-a-fly guys were doing. "I'm going to take a cold shower, hop back in bed, wake up and pretend I'm in my own house and see Gohan STUDYING!!!" I screeched walking out the door pushing Master Roshi on top of Yamacha in the process. 

"It only makes me like her better…"Yamacha gasped harder. Gohan sighed although he didn't completely understand fully this 'flirt' thing seeing how innocent and naïve he could SOMETIMES be. 

I allowed the warm water to trickle down my face for the last few minutes before I finally turned the knobs off and the water came to a halt. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my blue robe around my body. I tied my hair into a towel so that it could dry. As I was ready to open the door I heard whispers outside the door, "Do you think she's still in the shower?" 

"No, I heard the knobs turn off, she can't be…" 

"What?! Does this mean…"

"I'm afraid so, I'm afraid so." 

I sighed to myself flinging the door wide open. "Hi guys," I smile sarcastically, "I'm assuming that all of you are waiting to use the washroom?" Yamacha, Krillin, Master Roshi and Trunks all nodded nervously, drenching with sweat. "I really do hope so, because I found it quite odd how you all were 'whispering' about me in the shower." 

"We only wanted to use the washroom," Yamacha gulped.

"All four of you?" I asked. They nodded, "At the same time?" They shrugged and laughed a little. 

"I'm going to pretend that's what you guys intended, okay?" I made sure I was being heard, "Because if it wasn't, the outcome won't be pleasant, even for a sayian like you Trunks, just ask Goku," I eyed each one of them, "Do I make myself clear?" They nodded. "Good," I replied before strutting off to check on my poor husband. I heard them sigh and collapse in a heap. Gohan laughed saying something about how he told them, I just pointed my finger at him and huffed, "Study!" 

After nursing Goku for some long time and finally getting ready (e.g. getting dressed and doing your hair etc.) I sat by Goku's bedside and looked down at his innocent face. His eyes flinched and as much as I hated to admit it, it looked as if he were caught up in some sort of battle. It was my turn to flinch as pain shot through my heart. Was that all Goku thought about? Battles and fights? I didn't want to sound greedy but had he EVER thought about me? Gosh, how many times had I wondered that, only to figure out that I was being unreasonable. He loves me, I know that but there were times when I just-

"Mom?" Gohan squealed coming in. 

"Yes Gohan?" I say quietly, tears already flowing slowly down my face.

"Um…well, how's dad doing?" Gohan asked.

I answered truthfully, "A little better." I just didn't add the part that it was still pretty bad.

"Oh," he replied softly, "The thing is me and the guys were wondering when dinner will be ready?" 

"Kami!" I yelled, "Don't those guys know how to cook themselves?! How the heck do they survive when I'm not around?!" 

"S-s-sorry mom," Gohan stuttered stepping back, "we were only wondering…" 

(Downstairs) "Ha, Yamacha, you owe me twenty dollars! Told you she wouldn't cook for us!" Krillin proudly stated his hand extended out for some ching-ching (definition for ching-ching is money in my language). 

Yamacha just laughed in return, "Sucker! I'm broke, you'll never get the money, so the jokes on you! Hahaha!" 

The television interrupted the um…conversation, "We interrupt your show of 'How Surgery Changed my Life a Brittany Spears biography,' to give you breaking news we just got in, it seems Cell has entered the city 'City' and is destroying everything in sight. Advice for everyone in that area…uh….there is none….you all are going to-"

"Hey Master Roshi why did you turn it off!" Krillin exclaimed at the blank TV.

"What we don't need is more negativity going around," Master Roshi explained, "Now that means-"

Well so then I suddenly stomped down after having a small conversation with Gohan about 'the gang' and how kind they were to let us stay. Thus, I softened a bit, "Alright! Because of everyone's generosity and hospitality, allowing my family to stay I will cook for you guys, but only for Goku and Gohan's sake! Now dinner's ready, so come and get it!" 

"Now you owe me twenty bucks Krillin, ChiChi did cook dinner and I bet it's all because she'd do anything for me," Yamacha laughed a little too loud. 

"Yamacha!" I smiled motioning for Yamacha to come to me, _well if that's what he thinks is he ever wrong,_ Yamacha giggled as he skipped over to me "I think it's the other way around!" I yelled as I slapped him.

"Yum…hphm delicpmh Thee Thee!" 

"Could you speak English?" I wondered glaring at Master Roshi.

"I said," Master Roshi croaked after swallowing, "This is delicious ChiChi!" 

"Oh thanks," I murmured. After only a few torturing hours at the Kame House I was actually warming up just a LITTLE bit. After all they were saving my husband by generously allowing us to temporarily live here, anyway how hard can a FEW days be? Well you probably know the answer. So anyway, we were all at the dinner table when ,Trunks, who came with Vegeta and Tien to visit before heading off somewhere at Kami's place to train, softly said, "You know ChiChi and Gohan you're really lucky, I mean Goku's a great guy!" 

Tears clouded my eyes without spilling, I bit my lip to ease the trembling, "I know, thanks Trunks for helping him…" Trunks nodded proudly smiling. 

"Yeah no kidding, I mean ever since he was young he was amazing!" Yamacha replied glaring at Trunks for some odd reason, "But truly ChiChi he's also lucky, I mean to have you," he shone a big gleaming smile as if he was rewarded, " although he never really did intend on marrying you." My jaw dropped, his smile grew as if what he had just said made me 'happy!' 

"What?!" Trunks and Gohan yelled.

Although speechless I managed to exclaim, "Please interpret!" By this time Vegeta's frown turned into a small smirk.

"Well, you know, your dad gave his hand in yours saying ChiChi well be your wife etc. etc. And he didn't know what a wife is until you tried beating the crap out of him in the tournament. But he ended up marrying you because he had made a promise and he never breaks promises," Yamacha explained. Hurt by his words I violently stood up, Vegeta's small smirk grew into a large grin. Gohan was trembling, biting his lip and Trunks sat awestruck.

"My parent's marriage," Gohan gulped, "Is a lie?" 

"Oh c'mon Yamacha, Goku really does love ChiChi you know!" Krillin corrected, "I mean remember that time we had that hoedown party and Goku sneaked Gohan out of the house, he said they have to be home by NINE because ChiChi would be back then, now that's love!"

"Gohan?!" I yelled. Vegeta made low laughs under his breath amused by this 'conversation.' Gohan backed away.

"What," Gohan gulped, sweating.

"ChiChi it's not his fault I mean he was high on caffeine and sugar!" Krillin tried to explain.

ChiChi slammed her fist on the table, "Who gave him all that junk that makes you stunt your growth and unhealthy, hmm?" Everyone was silent and Vegeta laughed.

"Oh come on people," Vegeta laughed, "This was getting interesting I want to see more!" Everyone gave him a pleaded look and my angered eyes blast him a look.

"There better not be more," I growled. 

Vegeta eyes gleamed as he thought of a lying plan, "How about that woman?"

"What woman?!" I shouted.

"Vegeta what are you talking about!" Oolong yelled, "Are you hoping for us to die?!" 

Vegeta thought for a moment, "Sure! I need some humor before I go and train in the time chamber!"

"Humor?!" Krillin exclaimed, "I swear ChiChi he's lying!"

Vegeta nodded, "This crazy woman well surely do some crazy thing to you guys, and it'll be funny!" 

I knew something in my body was burning but it was then that I exploded, "I'm not crazy! It is not me who tried to destroy the Earth! If anybody it's you who has a psychological problem and I'm sure your MATE can come up with some therapy machine so that you won't need to be so DENSE at times!" My aura burst out like an ocean of flames. Everyone was trying to hold me back, while Vegeta glared at me in his seat.

"Woman!" He shouted, "I would and should send you to another dimension but I'm not wasting my time on you!" I screamed punching and kicking, trying to get at him. Yamacha grabbed me by the waist and flipped me over his shoulder carrying me upstairs.

"Kami Vegeta!" Krillin yelled, "you sent her mad, even more so then my former girlfriend had!" 

Vegeta smirked, "That's not half as mad from what I've seen from my mate." 

"Oh how could he?!" I cried upstairs, Yamacha setting me down.

Yamacha sighed, "Well, he's like that, Bulma *sigh* must go through it everyday…" I looked at him surprised. He missed Bulma. 

"Oh," was all I could say, "You miss Bulma, still?" 

Yamacha looked at me as if I were crazy, "Bulma is long gone!" I shrugged, he sighed as he got up he looked back at me, "Goku is really lucky to have you, you know." 

"Thanks," I smile a tear dropping down my face, he reached for a tissue and handed it to me. Then he left.

Beside me Goku still lay, his eyes shut. But this time rather then his warrior face he usually had on a warm smile spread across his face."Are you thinking about me?" I laughed, outlining his cheekbone with my finger. I shook my head, "You don't need to think about me, as long as you love me." I felt his forehead and it was burning up, more hot then usual, his face was suddenly turned pale plus his warrior face was back and much more intense. "Guys!" I screamed. 

But they were watching TV, '_Cell is now headed for Orange City and destroying everything in his path!' _

"Okay Dad, it's time we go up to the time chamber, Cell is getting to carried away!" Trunks growled. 

"Guys Goku he's-"ChiChi cried.

"Don't worry ChiChi Goku will be okay," Trunks explained, "But here it's a letter for you," he said lowering his voice, "from the future…" 

I look at the enevelope addressed ChiChi.

That's it for now! I cannot believe I actually added on to this. Okay, so I know it's not like really REALLY funny, but heck, I tried! But hopefully you enjoyed it and if you didn't well why read on anymore? I'll continue sequels hopefully more hilarious and dramatic. Okay truthfully did it suck? You tell me, please R/R, I even said please!


	3. Chapter 3

**Life at the Kame House**

**Note from the Author: **Holy! Holy! Holy! It's been forever since I've updated this! Look at the posting date and the updating date! Well anywho, I liked this idea so I'm going to try and continue with it. So here it is! Nonetheless, the third part of Life at the Kame House.

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own DBZ or any of it's characters. I also do not own vodka or whiskey.

And now to the story…

"A letter…from the future?" I asked myself as I stared at the envelope addressed to me. Vegeta and Trunks were well gone by now.

"Well, aren't you gonna open it mom?" Gohan asks, looking at me.

For reasons still unbeknowest to me, I glared at Gohan. And then my glare turned into full on rage, "Listen, kid! This is my letter, MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! I will open it when I want!! But YOU! YOU, I let you train for three years for those stupid androids, THREE YEARS Gohan! Three years where you could've worked towards becoming a friggin' scholar! Study Gohan Study! And then…then…maybe I'll open the letter, okay?"

"Um…o…okay?" Gohan responded meekly.

The room was silent.

Now sometimes I yell, and I scream, and I complain, but you see, I do it for a reason. I mean if your husband constantly left you to go and fight and you never knew if he'd come back alive and your husband also happened to be the kind of guy that thought such miniscule things like 'camping' was more important than your son's education, certainly you'd have the right to yell and scream once in a while. But when your son is kidnapped from you when he's just a baby by the man who tried to kill your husband and you have no idea where your little baby is and what is happening to him, you not only have the right to yell once in a while, heck…you've got a full fledged lifetime membership to the 'yell and scream whenever the beegeebers you want, girlfriend' club. A damn lifetime subscription!!!! But regardless, I have no idea what made me yell at Gohan at that point. Maybe it's because I don't want to be here. Maybe it's because Goku's sick. Maybe it's because Master Roshi constantly stares at my butt and tries to take a pinch or two when he can. Maybe it's because I feel like such an outsider here, surrounded by Goku's friends and all…or for goodness sake, maybe it is because Gohan isn't studying like I'd like him too. But still…I mean even I have to admit I went a little 'crazy in noggin' on him.

"Err…ChiChi…weren't you a little harsh on the lad?" Master Roshi croaks.

"I hate _you_," I seethe as I make my way outside onto the patio. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! Everything is stupid. Stupid ocean, stupid Kame House, stupid male gender, stupid envelope…envelope! My letter…_Remembering the letter I open it. The handwriting is clearly noticeable.

_Dearest ChiChi,_

_Well, well, I gotta say I envy you. I mean as you're reading this you still have non-tainted long raven hair, smooth, unwrinkled skin, gorgeous dark, dark eyes. And heck, probably a body to die for. But you know what? The thing I most envy you for is that you still have your family. I don't ChiChi. My husband died, oh probably 16 years ago. He died of a heart disease. He was a great warrior you know and a heart disease killed him. I always thought a great and powerful villain would kill him, but that never happened. Sounds like someone you know doesn't it? Well, it should because I'm talking about Goku, ChiChi. I guess you can call me Mirai ChiChi. I'm you, only 43 as opposed to 27. Listen, ChiChi. I know you want Gohan to be a scholar and yes, you want that husband of yours to give up fighting and get a good job. But listen to me, the one thing I regret is having taken away the little childhood Gohan had to study. He loved fighting, he adored it. But he matured because of it. His childhood was fighting and when he's not fighting he's studying. ChiChi, you and I both know his education is important, but ChiChi, he's half saiyan, don't fight an uphill battle. Let him be, accept the nature of your family. Set them free. I wish I did, and now, it's too late. They're gone. My family…it's the one thing I wish I did differently, to accept that part of them…but through this letter, I CAN change that. Take care ChiChi._

_Sincerely,_

_You (from the future)_

_P.S. Don't worry about all that wrinkle and tainted hair stuff, you're still as hot as freshly boiled chow mein at 43!_

"I think…I think…I think I need a drink," I say as I fold the letter and stuff it down my shirt, "Yes, a nice coffee will do it…" I slowly make my way back into the house. I was so incredibly embarrassed. I must look like a complete idiot now. The room is silent as I enter. I clear my throat, "Um…well, sorry about that guys, I don't know what came over me…" Everyone looked at me cautiously. Gohan looked up from his books.

"So mum, how…how are you feeling?" Gohan asks meekly.

"Like a complete fool, listen Gohan, sorry for yelling at you, I shouldn't have done that. Listen, put your books away, you don't need to study right now, I mean if you don't want to," I answer. Everyone looks at me like I went nuts or something, which technically I did, when I married Goku that is.

"Thanks mum, well, actually I think I'm going to turn into the sack, I gotta go to the lookout tomorrow so I better get some rest," Gohan states as he leaves the room.

I sigh and sink down onto the ground, "Master Roshi, I really need a drink, you got anything? Preferably strong…very strong."

Now when I say drink, I tend not to mean alcoholic. I meant coffee or tea, something just to get into my system. But it turned out coffee meant vodka at the Kame House, and well one thing led to another and well…

"And then I was all like…like…'hey green man, you…you do nuttin' but mope around…you get a driver's liscense you hear me you cucumber…"

"Haha, Piccolo's a cucumber," Yamcha laughed as he sloshed his whiskey all over his front.

"More like a pickle if you ask me!" Krillin added drunkenly.

"I didn't know…giggle giggle vegetables can drive?" I laughed. That's so funny, I can just imagine my garden a traffic jam with vegetables trying to get to work.

"It's your story ChiChi!" Yamcha yelled, "You're the one who said Piccolo is a cucumber and that he…that he…aww crap, what were we talking about?" What were we talking about?

"Uhhh…" Master Roshi moaned on the ground, "Who painted the roof rainbowy?"

"Goku is great in bed," I added as I smiled into thin air. Yes Goku truly was great in the sack. Hmm…Goku…

"I know," Krillin added.

"How…how'd YOU know?" I slurred glaring at Krillin. That little tramp, I knew he had the hots for my Goku.

"Because I've seen him wear red, geez…" Krillin hiccupped.

"I didn't say red, I said bed!" I argued.

"Listen slut, I don't think you should come 'round here anymore, you only bring troububble uh…troublem…uh you know what I'm saying and you know what???" Krillin yelled.

"What?!" I challenged.

"And take that whore there with you!" Krillin exclaimed glaring at me while pointing at Yamcha.

"I ain't no whore, beeatch!" Yamcha slurred, while downing another flask of whiskey.

"Kami, I'm tired," I moaned, "You wanna see my bra?" After all it was pretty. People like pretty things right? Pretty things make people happy. Besides I like making people happy. That's why they call me ChiChi Happy Son, well maybe not…but they should.

"Hell yeah," Yamcha exclaimed trying to keep his eyes focused on me.

"Uhhh…" Master Roshi groaned, still flat on the ground, looking next to him he grabbed the leg of the coffee table, "Well…heh heh…hello there Cell, you're looking pretty darn fine tonight…uhhh…"

I began to unbutton her dress, that is till Oolong stepped in, "Alright, alright, I'm not usually the mature one here, but ChiChi as much as we all want to see your chichis, you're gonna regret this tomorrow morning."

"Shut-up you porker, all you…all you peoples been treating me like I'm some kinda witch," I declared as I unsteadily stood to my feet, "well, I'm not! I'm just as hot as Bulma, you know! I can dance, I can dress, I can wear make-up, I can sleep around. Hell, if I put the moves on Vegeta he couldn't resist me, so shut-up all of you!!"

"You can…sleep where?" Krillin pondered.

I grabbed my vodka from the coffee table and took a long swig of my drink, "Around! You know? Like everywhere?"

"Eh?" Yamcha asked after taking yet another large gulp of his beverage.

"Well not around so to say…actually I only slept with my husband…but I'm still as hot as chow mein at 43," I pronounced difficultly, "I wonder what the androids look like? Am I an android?"

"Chow mein…" Master Roshi moaned, "You like chow mein, Cell?"

"What is this stuff anyway?" I asked as I looked at the vodka in my glass, "I had like a gazillion of them…hehe…gazillion…what a word…gazillion…ha ha!" I then became very serious, "Aww…I think…I think…I think I'm gonna sleep," I declared as I tumbled backwards and passed out on the living room floor.

"Where'd she go?" Yamcha exclaimed as his whiskey split all over the floor, "Where'd she go?"

"Maybe she had to find her bra?" Krillin asked.

"Oh yeah," Yamcha murmured as he rose to his feet, looking down onto the ground he spotted ChiChi passed out, "Ah, there she is!" Yamcha then proceeded to trip over ChiChi before he too blacked out.

"I like red," Krillin sighed before he too passed out, overtop the coffee table.

"I think I need a drink," Oolong moaned as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Damn it Cell! I asked you if you liked Chow Mein, don't make me Kamahamahehe you to kingdom come!" Master Roshi cried out.

I think it was safe to say the Kame House was silent the rest of the night, well except for Master Roshi trying to strike up a conversation with Cell. If there was one lesson I learned on that second day at the Kame House, it was 1) if you're depressed drinking doesn't help and 2) never drink at the Kame House…especially something really strong.


End file.
